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Rules of
style
Helpful advice for Report-writing culled from the web by Martin Price
1.
Verbs has to agree
with their subjects.
2.
Prepositions are
not words to end sentences with.
3.
And don't start a
sentence with a conjunction.
4.
It is wrong to ever
split an infinitive.
5.
Avoid clichés like
the plague. (They're old hat.)
6.
Also, always avoid
annoying alliteration.
7.
Also too, never,
ever use repetitive redundancies.
8.
Be more or less
specific.
9.
Parenthetical
remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
10.
No sentence
fragments.
11.
Contractions aren't
necessary and shouldn't be used.
12.
Foreign words and
phrases are not apropos.
13.
Do not be
redundant; do not use more words than unnecessary; it's highly superfluous.
14.
One should never
generalise.
15.
Comparisons are as
bad as clichés.
16.
Don't use no double
negatives.
17. Eschew ampersands
& abbreviations, etc.
18.
One-word
sentences? Eliminate.
19.
Analogies in
writing are like feathers on a snake.
20.
The passive voice
is to be avoided.
21.
Eliminate commas,
that are, not necessary Parenthetical words (however) should be enclosed in
commas.
22.
Never use a big
word when a diminutive, one will suffice.
23.
Kill all
exclamation points!!!
24.
Use words
correctly, irregardless of' how others use them.
25.
Profanity is for
assholes.
26.
Understatement is always
the absolute best way to put forth earthshaking ideas.
27.
Use the apostrophe
in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
28.
Eliminate
quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson
said, " I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
29.
If you've heard it
once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a
million can use it effectively
30.
Puns are for
children, not for groan readers.
31.
Go around the barn
at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
32.
Even if' a mixed
metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
33.
Who needs
rhetorical questions?
34.
Exaggeration is a
billion times worse than understatement.
And finally..
Proof-read carefully to
see if you any words out.
Martin Price is a consultant operating in
South Wales and moderator of the ACT website.
Martin’s website is at http://www.martinprice.com
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Updated 23rd November 1999